{"product_id":"cannot-brain-today-unisex-sweatshirt","title":"Cannot Brain Today Unisex Sweatshirt","description":"\u003ch2\u003eComfort for the Cognitively Compromised\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAdmit it: some days you're a genius, and other days you're just... here. The \u003cstrong\u003e\"I Cannot Brain Today\" Sweatshirt\u003c\/strong\u003e is a sharp, high-contrast nod to the days when the gears just won't turn. Crafted for maximum comfort and professional durability, this is the perfect layer for home offices, casual Fridays, or hiding in the breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic Unisex fit with a crew neckline for a clean-cut, comfy style.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDurability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Double-needle stitching at the shoulder, armhole, neck, and waistband.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEthics:\u003c\/strong\u003e Made with ethically grown US cotton and OEKO-TEX certified dyes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, cm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e50.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e55.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e60.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e66.04\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e71.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e76.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, cm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e68.58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e71.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e73.66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e76.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e78.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e81.28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length (from center back), cm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e85.09\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e87.63\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e90.17\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e92.71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e95.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e97.79\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, cm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.81\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.81\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.81\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.81\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.81\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.81\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdetails\u003e\n\u003csummary\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFrequently Asked Questions (FAQ)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/summary\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHow does the quality compare to standard high-street sweatshirts?\u003c\/strong\u003e Unlike mass-market fleece, our Gildan 18000 uses a high-density 50\/50 blend (271 g\/m²) that maintains its shape and softness after washing. \u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWill I have to pay customs fees in the EU?\u003c\/strong\u003e No. We fulfill this product locally within the European Union, so your order arrives without additional VAT or customs duties.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIs the fabric sustainable?\u003c\/strong\u003e Yes. This sweatshirt is backed by the US Cotton Trust Protocol and uses safety-certified dyes, ensuring environmental and human safety standards are met.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 18000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: Made in Nicaragua, For adults\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, , Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Corporate Gags","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":57082533249368,"sku":"15141648483286234221","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":57082533282136,"sku":"44624990984605456447","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":57082533314904,"sku":"22122867032115074951","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":57082533347672,"sku":"18129041507561071261","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":57082533380440,"sku":"16919006320841511324","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":57082533413208,"sku":"14464687100099674546","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":57082533445976,"sku":"28573493040972161578","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":57082533478744,"sku":"22295003338126681277","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":57082533511512,"sku":"26283408091405765929","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":57082533544280,"sku":"19156643073903157270","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Navy","offer_id":57082533577048,"sku":"27343693274487080546","price":47.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0899\/7735\/6632\/files\/cannot-brain-unicorn-sweatshirt-navyblue.png?v=1775819277","url":"https:\/\/corporategags.com\/en-eu\/products\/cannot-brain-today-unisex-sweatshirt","provider":"Corporate Gags SIA","version":"1.0","type":"link"}